Damnit

So the wedding on Sunday was very nice. It was fun and I even got Mike to dance with me, although it took a lot of coaxing. He is so not the dancing type but I know he had fun. :) I did end up drinking 3 newcastles but the food was actually very light, which was nice. I had a few appetizers, lamb and some salmon on crackers. Then a glass of lemonade. The lunch was salad, corn on the cob, rice pilaf, and 3 different kebobs. Shrimp, chicken and beef with vegetables. I tried a small slice of cake but didn't eat the frosting. I suppose it would have been alright if it had just been that all day, but I don't know. I didn't write anything down in my food journal since breakfast that morning, and I think I just figured I could cheat a bit for the day. Bad idea.

I ate very off plan after we got home last night. Lots of junk and I drank some more lemonade which was very sugary. And then this morning I ate a normal breakfast, yogurt and granola. Lunch was soup and sandwich. And then I just went off plan again. I made myself turkey burgers for dinner, which was alright, but I put 2 slices of full fat cheese on them. And the I ate some of the shells and hamburg that his mom cooked. And then I ate even more of it. And drank 2 cokes. I didn't log a single thing in my journal today. I didn't eat a single fruit or vegetable today. I actually got a headache earlier and felt pretty tired today, which I'm sure was contributed by the high fat and sugar foods I've been eating. After eating so well, (well basically) for the past month, it makes me mad that I would just fall off like this. I know it happens. I know I should just pick myself up and continue where I left off. I know all this but I'm still afraid I'll wake up tomorrow and continue on this binge.
But you know what? I'm not going to let that happen. I weighed 355 yesterday, and all I keep doing is thinking about that number. I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow morning and whatever that number is, I'll just have to work with it. I can get through this hiccup. I am placing a goal of being under 350 by the end of July.

Yea. I can do that. I know I can. :)

That is a picture of me last May. Longer hair of course. It was actually taken at the top of a fire tower overlooking Rochester. I was terrified, I hate heights and that was an incredibly high tower. I was gripping that rail for dear life, lol.

But if I can do that, and actually I've made myself climb lots of high places, I can do this. It's all a matter of patience, will power and confidence.
Yay me, I'm all about the happy crap today huh? :)