I don't know what the hell I'm doing to myself

But it needs to fuckin stop. That last post? Where I said I was going to quit it, to get back on track, stop fucking around. It didn't really happen. I halfheartedly started last week only to screw up later in the day and eat junk. I'm ashamed to say just how much I've been eating, nevermind the quality of food. Things like chocolates, beer, chips, lots of fast food, and just ridiculous amounts of food. It's like I can't get full enough. I am making myself sick. I have probably gained close to 12 pounds....in a week and a half!! I've noticed clothes that were getting loose are now getting snug. I feel puffy and stiff in the mornings. And I hate it. I don't know why I'm not getting it back to the way it was before. So that's my update. It sucks.