Thursday, October 21, 2010
I heard you were lazy and out of shape
Just checking in for now. I weighed in at 354 this morning. I had a bit of a setback the beginning of the week. I got high and ate a lot of food I shouldn't have. That is such a huge weakness for me and I've been trying to cut back on it. Work was also hectic this week and will be tomorrow as well. My apartment is a mess and I have tons of laundry to do, nevermind the numerous boxes still needing to be gone thru and unpacked. Still.
I keep telling myself that today will be the day I go for a walk or pick up the weights in the basement. But something always comes up, or I'm tired, or I have to work. Excuses, I know, and not very good ones. But I will give myself credit for sticking with writing my food journal. I feel more accountable when I log everything and it shows because I'm still losing weight, however slow that may be.
I bought 2 new sweaters tonight. They are a size 4x and I hate buying new clothes in such a big size but it's unavoidable. I don't have many clothes that fit me right, right now. I would say about 75% of my wardrobe right now hangs in the closet or in my dresser untouched because it either flat out doesn't fit me or looks absolutely horrible on me. So I have to go clothes shopping for winter outfits and that means buying in size 26/28 and 3x/4x. Which I hate because I am trying to lose this weight and spending good money on clothes that (hopefully) won't fit in a few months is frustrating.
It doesn't help that there is basically a complete lack of support from my boyfriend either. He made some hurtful comments recently and I tried explaining how I felt about everything to him. For the most part he will be quiet when I have rough times with food but on the flip side he is also quiet when I have successes. I don't think he really understands what a struggle for me it is. He's never been fat in his life. Which is good for him but doesn't exactly lend me a sympathetic ear.
Ahhh, ok, I'm done whining. I'm going to make a goal. I want to be under 350 by the end of next week. So by October 30th. That's 5 pounds. I can do it. Just no bud. :) Seriously though, I've been dicking around in the 350's long enough. Well, ok it hasn't been that long. I just got into the 350's 11 days ago. But still.
Wish me luck.