Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Oh cheesecake, my super delicious downfall

Yes I ate some. And not just one piece (facepalm), but two. I saw it in the store, I wanted it, and I bought it and ate it as fast as I could in the parking lot. It was such a completely mindless thing and I don't feel regret. Should I? Yea I probably should. It wasn't even awesome tasting as far as cheesecakes go. It was so so and I did have a fleeting thought as I finished the the first piece that I should just dump the other piece but like I said, totally mindless. I would say that the only saving grace about the situation was that I ate completely healthy all of yesterday, save for the late night binge of mediocre cheesecake.
Maybe it's because I'm getting a tit frustrated about my stalling weight loss. I don't know. I haven't really been delving much into my mind-food psyche. I weighed 354 this morning. I don't have my food journal in front of me at this exact moment but I know I've been pretty much sitting between 354 and 355 for awhile now.
Sometimes I sit and think about how nice it would be if I was somewhere where somebody else would figure out the task of making all my healthy meals and making me eat them. And only them. And making me work out when I have to. How easy it would be. And then I get hungry and reality sets in and I eat the same things over and over because I know it's healthy for me. I guess I don't mind that part too much. I like eating healthy foods because I know if I eat chicken breast, sweet potatos, and asparagus I can eat until I'm full. The harder part is when I have to eat something that's out of my control, like something someone else makes. That I don't know how they prepare it or even if it's not that good for me. Not as nutrient dense as I'm used to. It's more difficult then because then I can't eat as much and I don't get full and my day gets thrown off.
Ok, I guess that's a little rambly. I'm still trying to get the eating under control. Because it's the only thing I've got going on right now. I don't exercise and I know that shouldn't be hindering the scale. Because I lost 34 pounds last summer by just eating right. And although I'm in a much better place now than I was even just a few months ago, the eating is still being a bitch to get down.
Anyway, I have to go make my food for the day because I still need to go work. And hit Rite Aid. :)
Hope everyone enjoys this gorgeous day.

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