There it is.

I updated my weight loss chart with my new weight. I took out the scale this morning and stepped on and strangely, although I have gained, I am not so unhappy. Spoiler alert............I weighed 360. That's still 17 pounds less than when I first started this thing. Although that is also 16 more than my lowest weight back in July. Sucks.

My diet has been horrendous and I've not exercised much at all this summer. I'm lucky to have not gained more I suppose. I need to start eating better and keeping track again because of....well...........because of a lot of things. Because it's getting cooler out and I took out my jeans from the closet and half of them don't fit. Because I wake up and my face is puffy and I don't even recognize myself anymore. Because we bought new patio furniture and I can't sit right in it for fear the chair might bend or the fabric tear. Because I couldn't even play a game of paintball right last weekend because I was so out of breath running around my mask fogged up and I couldn't see. Because..........well, you get the idea. Being fat bites.
So I'm going to try this again. And part of me thinks, how many more times am I going to be writing these same words in the future? How many times am I going to fall down, maybe whine a bit, roll around, and finally kick myself back up? As many as it takes. Because I hate being fat. I guess everyone hates being fat but I loathe it. I loathe myself sometimes. It's hard to admit that but I do. But it's even harder to sit where I am and not do anything. I'm halfway thru my 20's and these have not been the best years of my life. They should be goddamnit.
In any case there's my update. I appreciate the support.