So it actually! said 338 this morning, and I thought to myself I should totally take a picture of that! But then when I went upstairs to grab the camera I also drank a bunch of water which obviously skewed it. But you know, maybe I was dehydrated, so I'm just going to record today's at 339. Yes I know my scale does point whatever the miniscule amount is after the main weight, but I don't count that ever. So, yay  me! That's 3 more pounds. That's almost 40 pounds lost! If anything, after this past weekend, I would've figured I would have gained but there ya go. On Saturday, my eating was spot on (until I decided to smoke a bowl and then I ate a bunch of spaghettios and bread and butter). Sunday I decided not to let that get me down, so I ate fairly well until I made a dinner for my family. I made potato leek soup, shephard's pie, and dessert shells with fruit and cool whip. Honestly I guess that wasn't too bad because it was only a bowl of soup w/ some crackers, I only took one serving of shephard's pie which I didn't finish, and 2 dessert shells with said berries and it was fat free cool whip. :) But then I did have a few candybars later that night. Soooo, apparently not enough to derail me on the scale.
So the only person I've told besides this blog how much I've been losing has been Mike. I was kinda hoping when I had my family over on Sunday that they might notice I've lost weight. But nothing. I almost thought about saying something (hello, I've lost almost 40 pounds, isn't something fucking obvious?) but then I didn't because it just doesn't feel real to me if I do. If I say nothing and nobody else says anything, maybe they don't notice. Or maybe they just don't feel like saying anything. But I feel like if I went the whole day without saying anything about it, while they haven't said anything, and then I do mention that yea, ok, I've lost this much weight. That any kind of recognition or compliment is just being fished for. Doesn't feel real, like oh yea, I guess you have, or something. Maybe I'm just being silly about that. But it's frustrating, you know? I've worked pretty hard at losing this much, at least eating wise. Was I that obese that it's going to take a lot more than 39 pounds to notice anything? I don't know. I have notices clothes getting looser, this morning I looked in the mirror and thought my face seemed to be a tiny bit thinner.
Anyways, there's not really a point to this, just throwing out some thoughts.

                                           So here's a picture of Boots, my dirty old boy cat. :)

                                       Remember I said I'd take a few pics of my route into work?

                                       These are from a few weeks ago, when we still had snow.

      Thank god it's finally becoming spring around here, although you can't find prettier outdoors than in NH. :)

                                                      Hope ya'll have a great healthy day :)

Some sort of happy heading.....I'll get back to you on that one

Feeling pretty great and I think it might have something to do with weighing 342 this morning! Yup, blew past 344 and I'm not looking back. I've been thinking about that number for so long that I haven't though much about what I'll do when I get past it. I don't know why it's been such a source of mental trepidation for me, besides being the lowest I got last summer. Or maybe that's just it. Either way, buh bye.
I did the biggest loser workout again on Monday and yesterday. I didn't do too much over the weekend, that workout on Friday really made me sore! Could be my imagination but the past two times it seemed to get a little easier. Not much, just a smidge. Still took breaks but I stuck with it thru the end. Ended up taking it downstairs to the basement(concrete floor), because jumping around on the creaky floor upstairs was driving me crazy. :)
Eating has been going pretty well, I haven't binged or eaten any junk lately. I've been toying with the idea of starting to count my calories. I don't do that now, just write what I eat in my food journal and eat mostly lean meats, carbs, lots of veggies, fruit and some dairy. Not really following any set plan. But when I was paging thru my calorie count book the other day I looked up sweet potatos. Which I eat a lot of. And it said a 4 oz serving was just about 100 calories. I eat pretty big potatos then, because mine usually weigh in around 10-12 oz. And that's a lot of calories for something I eat as a side or snack. So I started thinking about calorie counting. Maybe just for a few weeks. And start cutting my sweet potatos in half. :) Although I think I've been doing pretty good for not counting calories. 36 pounds, woot! Anywayyyyssss.
I got some new books over the weekend. The new eat clean diet cookbook 2 and the best of eating clean, or something like that. Both cookbooks, so hopefully you'll see some attempts at the recipes here soon. There's actually quite a few I'd like to try. I am very big into the eating clean scene, have been since I discovered Oxygen about 6 years ago. I'm a sucker for Tosca Reno and pretty much anything she puts out, (besides that awful pan g book, what the hell was she smoking?).
Anyway, I gotta go. We got 70+ degree weather here, first time since last fall and I need to get off my ass and go enjoy it. Till next time. :)

I am pretty damn out of shape

I did the biggest loser cardio max workout this morning and it kicked my ass. I only did the warm up, level 1, and the cool down which amounted to 30 minutes of jumping around self consciously on my creaky living room floor. Lol. Had to stop a few times to catch my breath and I didn't do all the moves like they did on the video, but I did keep moving around even when I couldn't keep up with the pace. Yup, pretty damn out of shape. But I feel great now and I'm glad I did it. This is really the first time I've specifically exercised since I started eating healthy again, before now I've just been losing weight by diet alone. Which by the way, am now down to 346 this morning. Wooooooo! I'm gonna have to come up with a new goal soon, I'm about to breeze past last year's low of 344. I've been feeling pretty good lately despite the lack of sleep. I really need to start going to bed earlier, this going to bed at midnight or later and waking up at 5:30 am and working all day is getting old. I should make that a new goal. :)
You know, I've been overweight my whole life and when I think about it I just can't really imagine being a normal healthy weight. I think that might have been one of the problems I've faced, and sometimes still face, because being overweight has become the norm for me. It's easier to give up on things because this is where I'm comfortable. I can't say to myself, look, this is so much better when you weigh 200 pounds less because I just can't imagine that. I hope, and plan, on reaching that goal. But sometimes I think it's easier for people who have been normal sized and then gotten obese because they know the feeling of being thin. I think another thing that frightens me of losing weight is the stretched out skin. My body has been this size for so long I worry that I'll be left with horrible saggy skin. And because plastic surgery is not a financially feasible option for me, there's not much I could do about it. But I guess I would still take that and be thin than have to deal with the body I have now for the rest of my life. So, onward the journey continues.
Well, best be off to go prepare my food for the day. I'm having delicious chicken sausages for lunch. Al fresco spinach feta chicken sausages, absolutely awesome, if anyone is so inclined to go try them! And I have some broccoli that needs to be used up. I'm missing my favorite yogurt lately, chobani, there's been some kind of crazy demand for them. And I'm having a hard time finding them in stores. So I've been eating up a lot of cottage cheese which I forgot how much I enjoy.

One more reason to stay away from fast food. :)

347 this morning. Must be doing something right. Noticed my jeans are getting looser. Awesome.

Me in all my morning glory :)

I am such an apple shape. Figured I would post some pics this morning because I haven't done it in a long time. And because I weighed in at 348 this morning. Kinda surprised about that one. :) I was naughty last night and ate a bunch of candy. Soooo, I'm 348. Let me think about that number for a minute. That's 30 pounds less than I weighed at my highest last May. Yay, 30 pounds again, yay. That's also 4 pounds away from my lowest last July. Yay, 4 pounds, yay. I'm not sure I really see much of a difference between these pics and and pics from 30 pounds ago. Let's see if I can find that infamous black and white dress pic.

Ahh, there we go. Hmm, I don't know. Maybe a little less puffy. Should be able to see something, for christ's sake, it's 30 damn pounds. Oh well, I wonder when I will start to see visible changes. Like obvious visible changes. :) I'm still glad those 30 pounds are gone though. So today's going to be a good day. Gonna go pack up all my healthy food so I'm not tempted by fast food on the road. Might make so chicken wraps for lunch. I have a long day at work today. Lots of driving. I'm so glad the weather is gorgeous out though. Should take my camera so I can snap pics of my drive to share with you guys. :) I definitely don't mind this work route because I go thru the mountains. It makes me anxious for summer because I want to go hiking and camping and all that other stuff again. Soon enough though. Hope ya'll enjoy the day and eat your veggies. :)

The old standby

Thought I would share what I'm eating for lunch today.

11.5 oz sweet potato, microwaved and plain
7.5 oz broiled chicken breast w/ some seasoning
9 oz steamed broccoli, plain

I like to eat this a lot, or variations of it. Sometimes it will be asparagus or maybe salmon or a serving of clean eating meatloaf. :) Sometimes I steam some summer squash and zucchini or bust out some brussel sprouts. It's a pretty clean meal and it's easy for me to whip up when I don't feel like thinking about what I'd like to eat. It keeps me very satisfied for hours too. Now if only I could eat this clean all the time eh?

Facts: 1) Ninjas are mammals. 2) Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3) The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

I kinda want to be a ninja. I mean, I know it's not a practical job and I'm not even sure you could get paid to do something like that but come on. Being a ninja would be awesome. Sweet ninja moves and nunchucks, not to mention killer clothes and secrecy surrounding every move. I'd be so baller if I was a ninja. I think what appeals to me most is freedom of movement. There's just so much....activity going on, it'd be hard to be a fat ninja. Guess that one's off the potential career list for now.
Been doing alright I spose since I last checked in. I smoked some more weed and ate kinda off plan for a few days and jacked up to 361 on 3-29. I gotta believe most of that was water weight though. I started eating better again and dropped like 7 of that in 2 days. Been eating consistently and weighed 352 this morning. Not bad. Finally broke thru that stagnant phase that was pissing me off couple weeks ago. I know it doesn't help when I smoke and get the munchies but I think I've been doing better with that lately. I've been trying to make conscious decisions even when I'm high not to eat junk food. I stocked the freezer with lots of lean cuisines and healthy choice meals. :) They're nice and quick to make and that is of utmost importance when you're on the munchie prowl.
In any case, I still feel like I'm doing pretty good and I'm happy with 352. I can't wait to break thru to the 340's again. I'm not that far off from my lowest of 344 last summer. A whole 8 pounds. Piece of cake. Mmmm cake. Just kidding. :)