There it is.

I updated my weight loss chart with my new weight. I took out the scale this morning and stepped on and strangely, although I have gained, I am not so unhappy. Spoiler alert............I weighed 360. That's still 17 pounds less than when I first started this thing. Although that is also 16 more than my lowest weight back in July. Sucks.

My diet has been horrendous and I've not exercised much at all this summer. I'm lucky to have not gained more I suppose. I need to start eating better and keeping track again because of....well...........because of a lot of things. Because it's getting cooler out and I took out my jeans from the closet and half of them don't fit. Because I wake up and my face is puffy and I don't even recognize myself anymore. Because we bought new patio furniture and I can't sit right in it for fear the chair might bend or the fabric tear. Because I couldn't even play a game of paintball right last weekend because I was so out of breath running around my mask fogged up and I couldn't see. Because..........well, you get the idea. Being fat bites.
So I'm going to try this again. And part of me thinks, how many more times am I going to be writing these same words in the future? How many times am I going to fall down, maybe whine a bit, roll around, and finally kick myself back up? As many as it takes. Because I hate being fat. I guess everyone hates being fat but I loathe it. I loathe myself sometimes. It's hard to admit that but I do. But it's even harder to sit where I am and not do anything. I'm halfway thru my 20's and these have not been the best years of my life. They should be goddamnit.
In any case there's my update. I appreciate the support.

yea I'm still here

Things have definitely fallen off track. Since my last post we have packed, moved, and halfway unpacked everything into our new apartment. I also came down with a really bad case of pink eye, pretty much all of last week was miserable. And now that's a few hundred more in bills I didn't need or want. Thankfully it is getting better.
I have been eating so much fast food these past couple of weeks, I'm really kind of ashamed. I'm not even sure what I weigh right now, the scale is packed away somewhere. I wouldn't be surprised if I was back up to 360 or even more, god forbid. Ugh, I don't even want to think about it. So I'm not going to. At least not for now.

I never did like Dr. Phil.....

Well, this week kinda sucked. I've only made half hearted attempts at eating well. Wedsnday was the worst, I basically ate fast food all day and there wasn't even any healthy fast food. It was just junk. Not really too sure what was going on with that. It sucks too because before I left to go camping last week I weighed in at 344. I had good intentions when we set up camp. We even went to the grocery store and I bought salads and ground bison and veggies. But then I started having some beer. And I like beer, a lot, so that led to some more beer. And some more until I was finally pretty drunk. But it was a good time. Always is, isn't it? And even that wouldn't have been so bad, but we went to bed late and got woken up early. I was still kinda drunk. So Sunday wasn't good because I was tired and didn't want to deal with making healthy foods. I also didn't write down anything I ate, which I think made it worse. In any case, the rest of the week I just couldn't seem to get back on track. I currently weighed in at 350 this morning. So at least I hadn't gone way off board but I am pretty pissed with myself.
So today I'm starting fresh. I will make all my meals before I leave to go to work. And that's the end of that.
We signed the lease papers for the apartment and now we're just waiting to get the keys so we can start moving. Things have been stressful financially. We don't really have any furniture or a washer and dryer. That was actually supposed to be something we were going to go buy sometime this week/weekend but Mike's truck is turning out to have some repair problems that aren't cheap. And even that wouldn't be so bad but I had to go buy 4 new tires for my truck because one blew last week. Well, I didn't HAVE to buy all 4 at once, but I didn't see the sense of buying 2 new ones in a size I didn't want or the tire I didn't want. So now I have 4 new ones, significantly bigger and pretty sweet. I wouldn't give them back even now with our tight money situation. I'll have to take pictures. :)


Really, 350? Damn beer.

Well at least it's something....

It's been a whole week since I last posted. Don't get me wrong I come on here every day, checking my blog, reading other people's blogs. I think about posting, but then I just don't. I don't know what's holding me back, some kind of writers block I guess. But either way, here I am.
I lost 2 pounds this week. I weigh 345 now. I feel like I haven't really lost anything, but now that I look I see that yes, I did lose 2 pounds. So at least that's something.
I think we've found a new place to live. It's a nice townhouse and it's within our budget. Mike is going over today to put a deposit on it and hopefully we can start moving in next week. I'm not too crazy about finding new places to live so I think we kind of settled on this one. But it really is nice and I think I'll like it. In any case it's only a year lease.
Oh and I bought a breadmaker this week. Kinda psyched about that one. I found it on craigslist barely used for $20, and it came with manual and cookbook! I already tried it, making a tomato and bacon bread. Which came out alright, but not as awesome as I thought. Partly user error, I added cold water and didn't use the right tomatoes. The next one I will try for is some herb bread with herbs picked fresh out of my garden. Mmmm.
Well, that's about all that went on this week. We're going camping tomorrow so hope everyone's weekend is fun. :)

Put that in your pipe and smoke it

Cuz I woke up this morning weighing 347, which means I've lost 30 pounds! And that was even after I ate breakfast and drank my water. I was pretty stoked today. I thought about it all day. I'm just happy to be under 350 again. I put on a pair of jeans that I bought back in March and they fit without squeezing me to death. They are still a size 26 ( for now) but I don't care. I couldn't fit right in them a month ago.

Life is kind of hectic right now for me, we are in the midst of trying to find a new place to live. Between that and work and trying to keep up with couponing ( yea I coupon, hardcore!) and everything in between, my stress level is not exactly, well, level. I still do my best to eat well, but lately, I haven't been eating as much. I should be getting more vegetables and dairy. Well, everything really, but I've been slacking on the veggies most.
Although I'm also happy to finally start getting some peas out of my garden. Everything else is doing awesome and I couldn't ask for better weather so far this year. Which is a relief from the rainy, cool, crappy summer we had last year.

I thought I'd post a recipe I've made a lot lately. It's from oxygen magazine, couple years back. I love reading oxygen because I think it portrays women with more guts than fluffy fitness magazines. Plus they come up with some good clean eating recipes.

Clean Eating Meatloaf

1 lb lean ground turkey (I use 93 or 94% lean)
1/2 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup salsa
3 egg whites
I pkg. dried vegetable soup mix, (I use lipton's)

Mix it all together and place in loaf pan or baking dish. Bake for about 1 hour @375 degrees or until done.

I cut it into 4 pieces, but you can cut it into 8. I used sparkpeople's recipe analyzer and it came up with this. For 1/4 of the recipe - 225 calories, 8.8 grams fat, 27 grams protein, 10 grams carbs.

MMMM So good! Not even joking, my boyfriend is not a big fan of some of the healthier things I cook up but this is one of the things he actually liked and came back for more later on. It comes out so moist from the salsa and has tons of flavor, even some fiber from the oats. Yea, bet you didn't think there would be fiber in a meatloaf, huh? I'd post a picture but there's none left so it'll have to wait until I make some more. :)

Hope everyone's having a good weekend. :)

Yea it's me.

There's Mike.

And there's our fish. Mackerel to be exact.

It was such stressful day. We were supposed to go for a half day of fishing but we got a late start and traffic was horrible. We ended up missing the boat by 5 minutes. I was so mad. And on top of it it was so hot, in the 90's I was just crabby. But they did 2 hour night fishing so that's what we ended up doing. It was definitely the best day to do it though. The sunset was gorgeous.

We ate at a restaurant afterwards, which has the best clam chowder ever, only we didn't get the clam chowder because they were out. Which sucked! The waitress talked us into getting the lobster bisque which was bad and I didn't finish mine. I had grilled swordfish and steamed green beans with a salad on the side. Which was supposed to make up for the fact that I had crab rangoons and an egg roll as a snack on the boat earlier. :)
But I guess I didn't do too bad, I woke up on Tuesday weighing 349. Today I was up to 350 but I'm not stressing. I'm still down from my last post. I'm still kinda amazed I've lost almost 30 pounds just by changing my diet. I haven't added any exercise since I started eating better, I just go about my normal business. Although that will change soon, I've been looking at bikes, thinking about getting one. When I used to live in Concord I didn't have a vehicle, and instead rode my bike everywhere I needed to go. It was a pain sometimes, but I was also in better shape too.

Anyways, HELLO to people who have stopped by to check me out. It feels kind of weird now knowing that someone else is reading what I write. Honestly, your the first ones since I started. So umm, hope you like it and what not. I'll try not to be whiny and boring, but I can't make any guarantees. :)

Oh yea fishing!

I weighed in at 351 this morning. I'm pretty happy about that. I might even have to make a new goal for July. I've noticed my t-shirts starting to feel a little looser. Before I had to stretch them before I wore them to make them feel like they fit right. Now I can just slip them on no problem. That's nice.
We're going deep sea fishing tomorrow! I wanted to do something fun for this weekend and Mike agreed so I made reservations to go out on a boat. I can't wait. I've always wanted to go deep sea fishing and the weather is supposed to be perfect for it. I hope I catch something huge and I will definitely be taking pictures. I'll be sure to post them up here. :)
Well this is just a short post, I still have to go grocery shopping and such. Hope everyone had a good 4th!